10 Questions From A Dead Girl With a Gareth
An eerily realistic Gareth parodier talks post-apocalyptic cuisine, do-overs, fashion preferences and more in this week’s 10 Questions from a Dead Girl
Although he only appeared in four episodes in The Walking Dead, Gareth is undoubtedly one of the most notorious and well remembered villains of the series. The show provided just a small glimpse into the psychology of the man, but those who follow @U_LookDelicious on Twitter are treated, or tweeted if you will, to his musings on a daily basis. This week, I risked my limbs to have a conversation with the TWD parodier and rper.
Here’s the 10 questions I asked of the master cannibal and his replies:
Since everyone’s talking about it–what was your favorite part of No Way Out? I assume you still follow the show from the great beyond.
I liked this episode quite a bit and I want to say that the biggest moment for me was the Archer and his rocket launcher, but I’m a hidden meaning type of guy. My favorite part was the symbolism wrapped up in the Archer coming back wounded from his little spat with Negan’s minion. The Archer has gone through all these seasons now scraping by with some pretty close calls but he’s never really been hurt. He’s suffered along with everyone else over the loss of that pretty blonde haired girl and her father but he’s never been the direct recipient until now of anything.
The Archer has really been putting himself out there this season trying to find others to recruit for the Alexandria Safe Zone and he’s really had to come to terms with what it’s really like out there. It’s a whole different game than it was in the beginning. He’s tried to take the higher road with everyone he’s crossed but it’s backfired several times now and it’s taking its toll on him. His own ability to judge others and offer trust has been compromised and to add insult to injury he’s had his most prized possessions taken from him. He’s been stabbed in the back one too many times and this last time finally drew blood. To me, seeing him return from his scuffle with a bloodied wing shows the physicality of the situation and how it’s really starting to affect him.
Which member of the Anderson family would you eat first?
Let’s just be up front for a moment and clear up any curiosity with the audience right away. Most pretty people do taste better, drunks do taste like they’ve been marinated and it’s not personal; ever.
With that said I would eat Jessie first. She should have stood her ground with that kid when he refused to go with the Priest. If she had gone with her first instinct and insisted that he go, they probably would have all survived. She, to me, signed their death sentences with her inability to simply say no. It was very clear that she knew it was a bad idea to let him come along but she did it anyway. People who second guess their instincts end up pulling others down with them and they take the brunt of whatever hell follows. Trust me, I know from experience.
In a perfect world, which TWD character would be for dinner?
I’ve already had quite a few characters for dinner but if I had a chance to make some changes, I would look to the one who caused Terminus’ radical evolution. When we initially got free of the train cars, I acted a bit hasty and killed him right off immediately. People were crying out for retribution, and I gave it to them, but thinking back on it all, there would have been something much more fulfilling in him being the first one that we devoured. He turned us down the path we wound up walking on, and it should have been him who paid the price for it.
I would have still eaten Bob though; he was irresistible.
Looking back on what happened to you with Rick’s group, if you could change one thing that you did, what would it be?
I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and there’s really only one answer. I would have started down the row of processing everyone in the opposite direction. I would have downed the Leader first and watched the rest of them come apart beside him. You see, that’s how you take down a large group. It doesn’t matter how strong or organized they appear to be. You find the Leader and you pull them out and the rest of it falls apart. An archway can’t stand without its keystone.
What drink do you recommend pairing with Bob-e-cue?
Clean water. This is the apocalypse and options are limited.
What’s the secret to the perfect baddie monologue? You seem to have mastered the art.
Have I? Thank you! The secret to any kind of monologue is you have to believe in what you’re saying. People aren’t going to give you the time of day if they don’t believe that you’re invested in your idea with your very soul.
I spent a lot time in one of those train cars staring out through a small crack in two of its side panels. For weeks, all I could see was the advertisement for a local meat distributor. It had a large drawing of a cow on the side, and as we all sat there starving I really started to hate it. I hated the drawing and beyond that, I hated the person who drew it. But if it wasn’t for the drawing of the cow, I wouldn’t have had anything to hold on to. The cow became a focal point for keeping my sanity and our survival. The day we took back Terminus I swore that from then on we’d either be the butcher or the cattle. We’d either survive or we’d die. I believed it, and everyone else quickly followed.
Which character do you think you’d have the easiest time convincing to go the cannibal way?
I wouldn’t try and convince anyone into that rationale of thinking. It certainly wasn’t anything I ever planned on doing but we were forced into it and there was no turning back once we went there. We’d spent so long trapped in the dark that we had no choice but to learn how to walk in it. You don’t come back from that.
Even when we were free, Terminus was still a prison. The hardest part for me was making them all believe that it wasn’t. I’d already lost most of them once when we’d been trapped in there and I couldn’t risk losing them again. I did everything that I could to make Terminus appear to be everything they thought it was so they’d all stay. The worst thing I could think of was all of them leaving and spreading out. There was just no escaping what happened there and in the end I went from prisoner to captor. It was the most elaborate lie that I ever told and it was exhausting.
The crazy woman with the firework put that all at risk when she busted open my fence but at this point its water under the bridge I suppose.
Full disclosure–you’re my favorite TWD villain and among my favorite characters ever on the show. I think your Termites were a big part of your problem. So who would be your ultimate TWD villain dream team? Pick 4 characters from the show to be your sidekicks.
And you’re my favorite undead blogger! I agree with you about the rest of the people at Terminus but somebody needed to keep them controlled. If they weren’t my problem they probably would have been yours or at least yours to eat. But I like the way you think and if I got to choose four others to join me I’d have to go with the Archer, the Leader, the Samurai and the Leader’s Beard. Villain, after all, is just a matter of perception.
Boxers or briefs?
Neither. There’s less to keep track of that way.
What was your favorite “you” moment in the show?
All of them. As I’ve said before, I put the “hot” in psychotic.
Who doesn’t like a good monologue?
Was that really ten questions?
For more of the amazing writing and quick wit of Twitter’s favorite Gareth, be sure to follow @U_LookDelicious! Join me next Wednesday when we’ll have something a little cute and a little creepy here on 10 Questions.