Who Would You Vote For? Examining TWD vs. FTWD for President
With the Presidential race in full swing, I thought it would be fun to pit some of our TWD and FTWD characters against each other as Presidential candidates. We can’t really call them the red and blue candidates since, for the most part, all of them stay covered in red (blood, that is)! For expediency, no deceased character has been added to the nomination list.
Also, there is absolutely no way I would let Negan be on the ballot. His finger would be too close to that red button at all times!! And Jesus isn’t listed because, well, because he’s Jesus and who wouldn’t vote for Jesus!
They are in alphabetical order by first name to show no partiality. Each candidate will be asked a question and he/she will answer with a direct quote from their respective shows.
To the Men of The Walking Dead…
Abraham, there have been rumors of trouble within your campaign. Can you elaborate on that?
Abraham Ford – If I’ve not gotten my psyche situated straight, it’s because the sh*t’s continually been hitting the fan.
Daryl, do you have anything you would like to say to our former living Presidents?
Daryl Dixon – You take that stupid hat and go back to “On Golden Pond.”
Eugene, what is your position on foreign policy?
Eugene Porter – I ain’t slaying a lion anytime soon, and I wouldn’t be putting any wagers on me dispatching 1,000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass.
Glenn, is there something you’ve been holding back from the public?
Glenn Rhee – There’s walkers in the barn and Lori’s pregnant!
Rick, what is your policy on illegals in this country?
Rick Grimes – Get one thing straight. You’re staying? This isn’t a democracy anymore.
Now let’s hear from our TWD female candidates.
Carol, has there been anyone influential in your campaign?
Carol Peletier – We’re friends with the chick with the sword and the kid in the hat.
Maggie, your thoughts on political mud slinging?
Maggie Green – I’m not rubbing dirt on anything.
Michonne, what would be your policy as Commander in Chief?
Michonne – Anger makes you stupid. Stupid gets you killed.
Gentlemen, let’s start the questioning of our male FTWD candidates.
Daniel, what are your thoughts on receiving the nomination?
Daniel Salazar – If it happens, it will happen quickly. You must be prepared.
Nick, you’ve been compared to another Presidential candidate on the national scene. What do you have to say to that?
Nick Clark – I’m not crazy.
Travis, what do you think about the state of our national economy?
Travis Manawa – It’s gonna get better now.
Victor, what is the motto for your platform?
Victor Strand – The only way to survive a mad world is to embrace the madness.
Now for our FTWD female candidates.
Alicia, what do you have to say about either of the other two FTWD female candidates if you win the nomination?
Alicia Clark – It’s her party and she’ll cry if she wants to.
Madison, what are your thoughts on the alphabet spooks, FBI, CIA, DEA, etc.?
Madison Clark – If there’s a problem, we’re gonna know about it. The authorities would tell us.
Ofelia, the last question, what do you think of the other candidates from both TWD and FTWD?
Ofelia Salazar – These are good people.
Are you ready to cast your ballot? I know I am! I’m voting for Daryl, not because he’s the most qualified; I just want to LOOK at him!